The Yom Kippurvidui
(confession), `ahl kheth...v'al kheth' ("for this
sin that we have sinned..."), is prefaced by these words: You know the secrets of the universe, the
hiddenmost mysteries of all the living. You probe all the innermost chambers;
You assay the conscience and the heart. Nothing is hidden from You, nothing is
concealed from Your eyes. And therefore let it be Your will, O L-rd our G-d and
G-d of our fathers, that You forgive us our sins, pardon us our iniquities, and
give us atonement for our transgressions. (Mahzor - Yom Kippur) At first glance these phrases of glorification would
appear to bear no relation to the opening of a vidui. We must clarify
the reason which underlies this opening particularly here at the head of the
Yom Kippur vidui, the grand key to the gates of teshuvah
(repentance) for all Beth Israel.
The bases of teshuvah are three and they are: first
- regret for the past; second - in the present, a resolute consent to
the abandonment of sin in the inwardness of one's heart and one's will;
third - a commitment for the future, never to fall again into folly.
Inasmuch therefore as these three factors appear to be easy of access, and
through them [the process] of teshuvah is completed we wonder why it was
necessary for the Torah to inform us concerning teshuvah: "For
this commandment which I command thee this day, it is not too hard for thee,
neither isit far off." (Deut. 30:11) "But
the word is very nigh unto thee..." (Deut. 30:14) Why was it so
imperative for the Torah to explain in this Parshah,"It is
not in heaven..." (30:12) "Neither is itbeyond the
sea..." (30:13), and the earliest commentators interpret this passage
as referring particularly to the mitzvah of teshuvah?
But when we delve more deeply into matters, we observe that, in
truth, teshuvah, with all its apparent ease of attainment, demanding
nothing of us but these three essentials of regret, abandonment, and
commitment, would be very difficult indeed, if it were not for the Grace of G-d
Who has eased our way. By this Divine Grace teshuvah is become in truth,
"not in heaven...Neither is it beyond the sea..." but
"...the word is very nigh unto thee, in thymouth, and in
thy heart, that thou mayest do it." (Deut. 30:14)
Let us inquire, one by one, into the difficulties involved in
implementing each of the principles of teshuvah in full, making the
whole matter of teshuvah appear beyond the reach of man's capability.
[The first principle ]is regret. It would seem to be a simple
matter to feel regret for one's sins on becoming aware of the wickedness of our
ways, of the evil and bitterness attendant upon the abandonment of G-d. But
when we consider, [we realize] that our regret must be so great, so deep, and
so penetrating as to be worthy of the depths of the deterioration, and of the
ugliness and the loss that sin comprises. For the world in all its totality is
maintained by the Word of G-d, and the lives of all the living are apportioned
according to His Decree, by the power of the holiness of the light of the Torah
and the mitzvah which illuminates the world, for these are the laws
that the L-rd of all the Universe has ordained in His world. Therefore, one who
transgresses and rebels against the Word of G-d, diminishes and despoils the
glory of all the universe, and loses the lustre of all life. If we were capable
of setting things right again then our regret would in truth be whole and
encompass all the depth of sin, and would be worthy of rooting out all trace of
sin from existence. But do not "The secret things belong unto the
L-rdour G-d..." (Deut. 29:28), and who save G-d
alone can know the "the secrets of the universe, the hiddenmost mysteries
of all the living...", to the extent of understanding the idea of the
depth of regret which is required to reach our sins.
[The second principle] is the abandonment of sin, the present
resolution to detach ourselves wholly from the will to sin, from our ties with
it, from its inclinations and desires. And if one could know oneself that which
is hidden in the depth of one's soul and the chambers of one's heart, one could
abandon sin absolutely. But, therein is the hindrance, a person cannot discern
that which is within oneself, that which is hidden in the innermost chambers of
one's heart and one's conscience. Thus one cannot implement to the full this
quality of abandonment which is the [manifestation] of the present aspect
[of teshuvah] because only G-d alone "... probe[s] all the
innermost chambers; ... assay[s] the conscience and the heart."
Thus we arrive at the [third and] last basic principle, the seal
of teshuvah, and that is: the commitment for the future. If we could
know all that we might encounter in life's experiences which would confuse us
and cause us to transgress against our Creator, then we could implement the
principle of commitment for the future to the full. But when human beings face
the events of future life like blind men, then even the true semblance of
commitment is not within the capability of a person to implement
satisfactorily, for only from G-d alone is, "Nothing... hidden ...
nothing is concealed from [His} eyes." And while the three principles of teshuvah
are beyond the reach of man's capability, yet nonetheless the Torah has
summoned us to teshuvah, and borne witness before us as to its ease, for
"the word is very nigh..." - then we know from this that G-d's
Grace upon us is vast. For the principles of teshuvah that we have taken
upon ourselves in accordance with G-d's Design, He has esteemed as if we had
attained that level of clarity and understanding at which we are able to
picture them within our souls in their perfect truth. Therefore do we precede
the grand vidui,the foundation of teshuvah which brings
us out of the dark into the great light, with this noble passage embodying the
three bases of teshuvah.
"You know the secrets of the universe, the hiddenmost
mysteries of all the living" - in respect of regret in its
wholeness;
"You probe all the innermost chambers; You assay the
conscience and the heart." - in respect of the abandonment of
sin in all its depth;
"Nothing is hidden from You, nothing is concealed from Your
eyes." - in respect of acommitment for the future.
And in all manner of events which may come upon us, we take it
upon ourselves to stand ready in all the trials and changing situations, to be
servants of G-d in truth, "...that we may do all the words of this
law." (Deut. 29:29)
---HaRav A.Y. Kook, Meoroth HaRe'iyah (translated by Rhea Magnes)